How to Secure More Parenting Time With Your Child

Securing parenting time with children can be crucial after the dissolution of a marriage. For the meaningful bonds of a parental relationship to continue to strengthen and grow, quality family time needs to be prioritized when deciding child custody.

In all instances, a child’s safety and welfare should be put first. This principle appears to have been forgotten in a recent custody case in the family courts of Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana. 

In March, Ponchatoula’a John Barnes was granted full custody of his 15-year-old daughter by Judge Jeffrey Cashe. Not only did Barnes receive sole custody of the teenager, but in addition, the girl’s mother, Crysta Abelseth, was ordered to pay him child support.

This is where the case begins to twist: Abelseth, now 32 years old, has accused 46-year-old Barnes of raping her when she was 16 and he was 30. Her pregnancy and the resulting child were a product of sexual assault. 

How Did This Happen?

Barnes calls Abelseth’s accusation “absolutely, unequivocally false.” He claims he met her in a bar in Hammond in late 2005, that she had a fake ID and posed as a college student. He claims they had drinks and consensual sex, and he was unaware that she was under 17. Louisiana’s age of consent is 17.

Even if the two engaged in consensual sex, the encounter would still be defined as statutory rape.

Abelseth involved the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office in 2015, filing a complaint against Barnes for the 2005 assault. 

Her statement also relates that she and Barnes had been drinking at the bar, and he offered to give her a ride home, but instead, he drove her back to his home in Ponchatoula. She alleges that she woke up nude on Barnes’ bathroom floor. She says she was unable to give consent because she was unconscious during the encounter.

Her statement went on to detail Barnes threatening to seek full custody of her child if she reported the assault or sought criminal charges against him. Barnes owns and operates Gumbeaux Digital Branding, an internet marketing company which has the Ponchatoula Police as a client.

Although the sheriff’s office says Abelseth’s complaint is an active case, it did not get assigned to a detective until 2022, and court records show a statement from the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office claiming they “dropped the ball” and never effectively managed the investigation of Abelseth’s allegation.

Abelseth claims she was afraid to file a complaint at first, and then she was unaware she still had legal recourse. She initially thought rape victims only had 24 hours after an assault to file a report. After she learned the statute of limitations for rape, she went to the police.

A Decade of Indecisive Decisions 

This custody battle began in 2011. After Barnes discovered he might be the child’s father, he took Abelseth to court. DNA tests confirmed Barnes was the biological father, and he was awarded shared custody.

In 2015, Barnes sued for sole custody, accusing Abelseth of allowing men to stay overnight while their daughter was home, claiming an unhealthy environment because “She had three husbands in six years.”

In August 2015, Judge Cashe began presiding over the case. He handed down a split-custody agreement and ordered Abelseth to pay Barnes $78.41 monthly. In 2017, the amount increased to $117.72.

Abelseth made a motion to limit Barnes’ custody. The motion was denied.

In December 2020, Barnes requested the court expand his custody, accusing Abelseth of being an irresponsible parent for allowing their daughter to have another phone after her previous phone allegedly contained inappropriate pictures and videos. Cashe forbade the child from having a cell phone. 

In early 2022, Abelseth was accused of allowing her daughter to have another phone. She was held in contempt and ordered to pay $500. She says these allegations are false.

In March, Cashe heard the allegations against Barnes being verbally, physically, and sexually abusive to a child. Abelseth requested full custody, but the judge disregarded the abuse accusation, citing that Barnes had never been criminally charged and asserting a lack of evidence to support the abuse claim.

A few days later, Barnes claimed Abelseth gave their daughter another phone, and he filed for full custody. The same day, Cashe granted Barnes full custody.

Barnes states he just wants the best for his daughter and to “keep her on the right track” so she can accomplish her goal of becoming a nurse.

Abelseth tried to handle the issue through the courts, but after losing custody due to dubious cell phone allegations, she has lost confidence for a fair and just outcome. She says Barnes has threatened her multiple times and claims his threats have teeth because “he has connections in the justice system.” She says Barnes told her he could “take her away anytime he wants to. I didn’t believe him until it happened.”

In June, after Abelseth’s rape accusation and its mismanaged investigation became known by the media, it prompted public outcries for a reversal. Feeling the pressure, Judge Cashe revoked Barnes’ favorable ruling. A separate attorney was appointed to their daughter. A third-party guardian was awarded physical custody. Abelseth and Barnes will alternate weekend visits.

The twists will continue this summer as this ugly custody battle sees future hearings.

The Way It Should Be

Louisiana’s child custody laws concentrate on one principle: what decision protects a child’s best interests. Proposed custody arrangements should be approached by focusing on this principle with respect to existing relationships.

There are times when parents cannot amicably agree on custody, and the courts become decision-makers. To weigh custody, courts should fairly examine several influencing factors, including:  

  • Parent morality and the effects of a parent’s actions on the child
  • Relationships between a child and each parent 
  • Parents’ capability to provide necessities like food, clothing, and healthcare 
  • Each parent’s physical and mental status
  • The stability of a child’s home and school
  • How each parent supplies for a child’s emotional, mental, physical, and social needs
  • The child’s preference
  • Each parent’s respect for the other’s continuing relationship with the child
  • The child’s adjustment to new homes or environments 
  • The distance between each parent’s residence

Custody can be overseen by adjudicators without vicious battles that leave families in rubble, having to clean up the mess before they can move on.

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